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please
February 1 2017

please

susangayhart Poetry alone, clinical depression, depressed, depression, depression signals, effects without ketamine, emotions, evil, faith, insight, lonely, longing, Major Depressive Disorder, mental health, mental illness, sadness, suicidal depression, suicide, treatment resistant depression

Death it will feel so good to me
open the door Lord,
and please let me in
I have been pounding my head
against the gate for so long now
why won’t you just let me In?

I cry to you, oh Lord
please let me in
but I can’t make out your reply
through all the pain I’m in
I’m losing faith and hope
I am failing to believe in you

Inside I detect the calling
the cry of evil telling me
to commit suicide, that this is the end
I hear the voice so loud and I’m listening
even if that means losing you, I will succeed
I have no life, I have nothing to fear any more
SEG

*This poem like many of my others reflect a common theme in my writings.  I know this was written in my twenties while living in Maine.  I wrote much on my suicidal depression through out the years, but remarkably most of my poetry was written in my teens.   I also loved writing song lyrics and have a notebook full of songs I have written.  I think the older I got the more helpful I found putting words into a journal.

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