trust
The feeling of death is upon me
I’ve plunged into the boiling hot pot
I was beginning to sense some relief
but for some unknown reasons I’ve fallen
No voice, no words that explain why,
why I can’t see straight, a reason to live
what happen to the power, the courage
the desire to fight to the every end?
I have broken down and lost
I’ve been struggling to win this war
I thought and strongly felt as though
I was on the right path this time
My depression, the illness caught me off guard
and now I feel I have no strength left
to attack back, no energy to want to win
my only urge is to crawl back into bed
To sleep and pray that I awake feeling differently
or to never arise again to such anguish
I want it all to end, to feel invigorated
to move on, however, I don’t perceive that as a reality
I used to believe desperately that
I would heal but I’m so uncertain now,
the doctors tell me they can help, In my heart
I acknowledge that I may not trust them anymore
SEG
*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.
